Today's Topic: Growing up Bi or Multi-Racial
I was watching a Tyra Banks show the other night and she had ladies on the show in which the audience had to "guess" their race or nationality just by looking at them. A lot of them were bi or multi-racial, but looked otherwise.
I thought it was a very very interesting topic and decided to post it up here for an Ask J.Rose post.
I want to share my thoughts and then also get your thoughts on the subject. Especially from those that are indeed bi or multi-racial.
I, personally, am not bi or multi-racial. Both of my parents are from the Phillippines. And I was born and raised in the good ole United States, California, to be precise.
Did I grow up learning all about the filipino culture?
Yes and No. No because sadly, I don't know very much Tagalog (filipino language). I understand a tad bit, but can not speak it. I have to say I understand more Ilocano (another dialect) than I do Tagalog, but even at that, it's still not much. I have been involved in some filipino traditions such as filipino folk dancing with a group of other filipino girls. I have been exposed to the different filipino foods, some I love, some I could care less for (IE: balut, bagoong, dinaguan/chocolate meat). My mom was involved with the filipino community center and like every young lady in Santa Maria, you had to run for the Pista Sa Nayon (fundraising contest for the filipino community center). If you've heard of Rex Navarrette's comedy, I can safely agree with almost everything he says about filipinos. He is FREAKIN' hilarious, by the way.
When I was growing up, I had friends of many different cultures. Well at least of those that lived in Santa Maria. During my elementary school days, I remember a lot of my friends in school were either white or hispanic. Then in junior high, they were mainly hispanic, some filipinos and some whites.
Then in high school, I started hanging out with more filipinos, although I still had a lot of hispanic and white friends too. I was raised to embrace the many cultures that America had living here. My mom was/is not a racist so I was never raised to be racist towards others, although, I have to admit, I do buy into the stereotypes of different cultures especially mine. BUT... at the same time, I am still open minded. Because I honestly think that some of the stereotypes are true. I am not saying that all people of a certain race are the same, I'm just saying some. For example, filipinos and their filipino time, how many of you are filipino and you run on that?!?! And don't lie! =)
Another interesting thing that caught my eye on that particular episode of the Tyra show is the fact that some of the ladies that were indeed not bi or multi-racial did look like they were. I started to notice that I got that a lot starting in high school and even to this day. I have been asked by many people of what my nationality is. It's gotten to the point where I would ask them to guess. I've gotten a lot of "you look mixed". Different combinations I've gotten were mainly hispanic/asian, hispanic, indian, hawaiian, filipino with something else. And some people would be surprised when I told them that I am full filipino.
Ha, the thing that I LOVE the most is when I tell them I'm filipino and they start saying stuff like "Mabuhay, Kumusta" or better yet, the old white men who spent time in the Phillippines or have a filipino wife or girlfriend and say to me "Maganda". LOL.
One time when I was working at PC Club, I had a filipino lady come in with her two nephews or cousins or whatever and she was buying computers for her office. She had asked me if I was filipino. I told her yes and then she told me, "Oh, you're pilipino! Then it's like we're pamilee (family), it's like I'm your Auntie, you should gib (give) me discount!" Say that with a filipino accent. I was like OMG! I don't know you! LOL.
Ok I'm going off on a tangent here. Why am I writing about growing up multi-racial when apparently I'm not. The reason for this topic is because my kids are bi-racial. Some of you know that my husband (Mr. Man) is Thai. He looks more filipino than I do, huh? LOL. It's ok, he gets it a lot. My family actually thought he was filipino when they first met him.
So basically that means my kids are half filipino and half thai. To tell you the truth, even though we live with Mr. Man's mom, it seems my kids know more of their filipino side than they do of their thai side. I know that had a lot to do with the fact that my mom lived with us for quite a few years and my kids were overly exposed to that side of their heritage.
Now that my mom doesn't live with us anymore, I'm going to have to say that my kids are growing up "american". Both Mr. Man and I were born here and I would say we both also grew up "american". I would love to teach my kids about the filipino culture and I know Mr. Man would love for the kids to learn more about the thai culture, but how can we do that when we ourselves don't know too much about it because we were brought up "american".
My kids school is diverse and I see them hanging out with kids of different nationalities which means I'm doing a good job because my kids sees them as friends and not different from them.
So that brings me to my discussion.
These questions are geared towards bi or multi-racial people.
How many of you out there are bi or multi-racial?
What side of your heritage did you learn more about or can associate with more?
Did you have any struggles growing up because you were mixed?
Is there a side of you that you don't claim? And Why?
This questions are geared towards filipinos.
When you see the check boxes for nationality on forms, what do you check off? Pacific Islander or Asian
The reason I ask this particular question is because I'm kind of confused on that, LOL. I personally check off Pacific Islander. I don't know why, I just do. I mean the Phillippines is part of Asia so wouldn't that make us Asian? But then again we are an island and islands like Guam and New Zealand are considered Pacific Islanders. But wait, Japan is also an island that's off the coast of Asia, but they are considered Asian. What do you think?
This question is geared towards everyone.
Is there a stereotype about your nationality that bothers you?
Do you feel more comfortable associating with those of the same nationality?
This question is geared towards those that was born and raised in another country and then came to America.
Do you see a big difference in the way kids are raised in your home country and here in america?
Are there some things that bother you about the American culture?
Are there any stereotypes about your culture that bother you?
These are some questions I hope that some of you participate in as I am very curious as to what you guys think.
Is there a topic you'd like to hear my opinion on? Is there something you'd like for me to bring up? Feel free to suggest it by emailing me jaclynrose at teamlegion dot net, commenting on this entry or the chatbox. Click here for more info on the Ask J.Rose series.
8 comments:
-I am multi-racial.
-I only learnt of my mother's side as unfortunatly personally I do not know my father.
-I was teased ALOT for being mixed race, mostly because there wasnt alot of mixed race people when I was growing up, so my skin colour differing from either the whites/blacks which seemed to bother them, at times I wasn't white enough for the white kids & definitly not black enough for the black kids. Younger my hair was very long and wavy, but needed alot of attention more than the white kids who could wash&go. But I still get it now; girls dislike me just because I'm mixed.
-I'm proud of every part of me, as that's who I am. The bullies made me appreciate myself alot more than put my self worth down.
-The one thing that annoys me about people who thinks all Jamaican people are pot-smokers and yardies and pure trouble, you get good and bad in every race.
-I feel comfortable with any nationality who accepts me for me.
- Good post :)
-;laalaa
@laalaa - thx for sharing! I commend you for not letting the bullies get to you while you were growing up! that shows a lot of maturity on your part to take that and think positively, "The bullies made me appreciate myself alot more than put my self worth down."
*claps*
great topic.. (i like laalaa's format)-- j.rose you are asking for a LONG comment ;)
-i'm black american... i'm from washington dc, which is majority black.
-growing up a common joke that i would hear is.."hmmm while we would be out in the field, you'd be in the house with massa" (referring to slave status) ...............to this day, i still hear that joke! not as often, but even when i hear it, it sends a white line down my back.
-in college and after (outside of my all black DC) that's when i began to get questioned about my nationality. it surprised me because where i'm from, girls that look like me are 100% black. other parts of the US, sometimes, girls that look like me are bi/multiracial.
-in every stereotype there's a bit of truth, meaning that there are some ppl that subscribe to those notions... not all people. the stereotypes about my culture bother me A LOT. our cultural past is so sensitive in this country. many of us are the way we are today because of our past. i know it was soooo long ago, but the mental damage is real and even now people aren't taught what they need to be taught to get out of the cycle and rise. they don't even realize how they are thinking and how destructive it is. there are things that could have been handed down to me from my grandmother (she grew up during a time where mingling with white people meant risking your life/getting killed) and even thru my parents actions, but i choose not to accept that because i know i can make a difference and determine my destiny. that's not what my parents were taught.
okay i think i've written waayyyy too much hehehe
@kia - well said. I admire your take on things regarding your race.
I think there is just too much ignorance in the world and that is what makes it difficult. We are all people right? We are all part of the same race, the human race. If only everyone can think that way then we'd get along with each other.
thanks for sharing.
really really good post hon...i'm full filipino too, but no one every believes it...i think that's a common thing with filipinos because of our mixed heritage...with that said, my boyfriend is black and puerto rican and we'll definitely have multi-racial kids...these days it's funny because people think it's "cool" to be mixed...because a lot of magazines and media have gone for this look...i'm a very open person...i just hope that my future kids don't run into the ignorant sects of society that still exists out there.
haha, this is going to be a long comment :)
- I'm full filipino, but you can't really tell from the way I look. A lot of people have guessed lots of other nationalities, but filipino is always last, lol.
- I'll typically check off Pacific Islander, unless they define the difference between PI/Asian (they usually do for government forms, in which case I am Asian)
- I do see a difference in the way kids are raised here vs. PI, but I think that also comes down to the family structure. Here, everyone wants to live on their own, have the "American Dream" of owning their own home and having their own family. In PI it feels like the family dynamic is different, where families will just expand where they are and buy a house next door/nearby and stay closer to one another.
- I soooooooo run on filipino time. It totally hinders my effort to get to work on time, haha.
- I live in a racially diverse area (NoVa/DC), but more often than not, most of my friends while growing up were caucasian. It wasn't until I went to college (a predominantly all-white college, mind you) where I met a lot of my Asian friends through a cultural group. It's not something that bothers me, since I was raised not to discriminate anyone based on their appearance/heritage, but I feel like I'm a very american filipino girl.
- I know I will have bi-racial, if not multi-racial children, because I've never dated a filipino guy =P My BF now is half Greek and half Euro-mutt, so if we had kids they would definitely be multi-racial, and that's perfectly fine with me!
Hey Girl love this post! I've been called hispanic/asian, indian, hawaiian, and all of that too. But really I'm half Black & Filipino. I do take pride that even though I grew up in San Diego I learned to speak Tagalog fluently. Most of my friends are Filipino and my hubby is 100% Pinoy. Yes I do even enjoy balut, bagoong, and dinuguan! I do check the Asian box because I learned so much about Philippines classification from my Asian studies classes.
But I've struggled with people out there saying I wasn't trying to be black enough, whatever that means. I've dated brothas, I just never been w/ one that caught my interest. It wasn't until college when I started taking Black culture classes that helped me define who I am. My only struggle now is making sure my daughter embraces both her heritages from now on.
Anywho... just wanted to speak on it...I could probably go on and on about this topic in your little comment box,LOL! Mabuhay!! -Resa
Hey, J
Stumbled upon your blog...love your insight. Refreshing, candid. I hope to read more, so I"ll subscribe. :)
You have two boys? Me too. Nice to meet another momma in this blogosphere...and another filipina. :)
From Vancouver...
cherylannem.blogspot.com
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